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say

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat, “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “Or you wouldn’t have come here.”

~Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland






sing

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand
I would understand

The angry boy a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
Youre the first to fight
Youre way too loud
Youre the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong

Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say: put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand
I would understand

Well he's on the table and he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they're doing here
And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know

Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today you could put the past away

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again, I would understand

- 3eb, Jumper

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Oct 3, 2009
semua orang punya batas ego..

.. itu saya tahu. tapi omongan kamu kalo lagi kesal kadang bikin sakit hati sekali. bukannya saya juga malaikat baik hati yang ngga pernah makimaki, bukan. tapi tetep aja. "sometimes it's hard," you said? i know what's hard. buat kamu nahan mulut supaya ngga jadi bajingan kalo lagi kesel.

tai lah. saya kesal sekarang. mungkin sebentar lagi hilang. tapi sekarang saya mau makimaki juga. inget: komunikasi itu irreversible. ga bisa dicabut kembali.

Posted at 09:10 pm by paganpoet
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Sep 18, 2009
BAD

ihatepeople

Posted at 09:55 am by paganpoet
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Sep 17, 2009
i am

easily
dissapointed

so dont try to hold me and say what's wrong dear

just
let
me
be

let
me
be

i dont need to explain
to anybody

Posted at 10:27 pm by paganpoet
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sail away, sail away, deep sea..

I always thought of myself as an impulsive person. tapi terkadang tidak.. especially when it comes to lovable people. i am one stern person when it comes to that..

lagi dan lagi dan lagi kompromi.

LEBAY LO, MI.

tapi kadang2 saya memang merasa butuh pegangan. manusiawi sepertinya kalo saya sudah dikasih terus minta lebih. that's how we all are. apalagi kalau disindir2. rasanya seperti punya ego di dalam diri yang diinjak2.

tapi seperti kakaknya mantan tulis di status FB hari ini, kadang kita harus lihat ke bawah, bukan ke atas. cape ngedongak terus. inget bersyukur. dengan melihat orang lain yang (menurut saya) tidak seberuntung ini.

huhu.

saya ambisius. dan sekarangsaya ingin (bukan butuh tuh) lebih dari kamu.. rewel memang. lebih dan lebih selalu.

-seperti saya iri melihat pasangan teman saya yang sepertinya selalu mau bersusah2 buat dia. tak ragu mendeklarasikan mereka di mana-mana. membuat iri. tapi saya tahu ini cuma cemburu (atau boleh saya pakai istilah itu?) buta saja. saya harus ingat, pasangan teman saya ini juga punya banyak kekurangan.. dan pasangan saya sekarang, saya masih bersama dia juga karena saya bisa lihat kelebihannya.

Posted at 10:03 pm by paganpoet
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Sep 10, 2009
this hormone thing

... IS KILLING ME! one minute i'm crying my tearducts out, the next minute i'm smiling from ear to ear. GILAAAAAAA... mood swing mood swing tolong jangan beri bekas mata bengkak besok pagi..

Posted at 11:45 pm by paganpoet
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Sep 9, 2009
cuma sibuk, katanya..

.. and he sounded so tired. and i cant stay pissed off at him (seperti biasa).. jadi aja gondoknya cuman pas bales sms. sama jual mahal sedikit buat ga mau nelpon duluan lagi..

hhhhhhhh

dasar si paganpoet ini ababil.

biarin!

Posted at 10:55 pm by paganpoet
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the cycle goes on

sabar percayadiri kamuutuh kamuhanyapms sabar tariknapas berpikiryangbaikbaik senyumsenyumsenyum mungkinitusajayangkamubutuhsekarang

bismillah

*ngusep muka*

Posted at 10:30 pm by paganpoet
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Sep 6, 2009
terus..

sepuluh menit yang lalu, gugup. cemas besok rencana berantakan. takut salah ngomong. takut salah tentuin jam.

sekarang, kangen, ngga sabar pengen peluk lagi. mau kirim sms tapi males digodain dibilang lebay.

huh dasar.. labil.

huihihi

Posted at 12:08 am by paganpoet
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Sep 5, 2009
the biatch is here

ngantuk. gampang marah. easily annoyed. gampang kesel. gampang nangis.

BEGO!

Posted at 06:01 pm by paganpoet
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Sep 1, 2009
whatta mood

whatta day. it's not even 11 AM and already I cried (in my sleep, out of pure rage, not sadness). i dont like being pushed around, i dont like being pushed around, I DONT LIKE BEING PUSHED AROUND! we are all very different people and dont expect me to live up to your standards, your biological cycle, and be, well, YOU! aaaarghhh sampe geregetan gw ngetik ini. kesel kesel kesel! (jahat ga sih.. kesel sama orangtua sendiri, huks. parah ah gw)

beberapa hari ini emang bawaannya emosi tinggi mulu (eti, kata si mbok bariah), mungkin gara2 belom biasa sama asupan makanan yang berkurang, ato timetable yang acakadut. bawaannya gini nih, emosi.

salah satu cobaan puasa, lagi2 kata si mbok bariah. setuju sih gw. dia juga ngalamin hal yang sama *toss, mbok* cuman kok ya susah yaaaaa nahannya. kesel gw.. tapi gw tahan gw tahan gw tahan. namanya juga puasa.

eh yang ada jadinya malah masuk mimpi. baru sekali ini gw nangis (agak) histeris dalam mimpi. nangis kesel karena nahan marah, bukan nangis sedih. parah pisan sampe masuk ke alam bawah sadar gitu. idih.

-jadi pengen denger The Beatles, She's Leaving Home-

PMS juga kali gw. tau ah.. ngantuk gw.. baru jam segini dan ngantuk. BERAT PULA KEPALA. goblog. puasa ga boleh marah2 kan? YAUDAH MARAH SAMA DIRI SENDIRI AJA. HHHHHHHHHHHRGGGHHHH. BAB************K!!!!

Posted at 11:57 am by paganpoet
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